Same Sex Sex
I was in the US visiting friends from school when two minutes before a girl's night out a good friend calls to say, "I date women!"
She wanted to drop the bomb on me and another friend before I flew back overseas. We weren't allowed to discuss this at dinner because she wasn't ready for everyone to know. Talk about a cliffhanger. This was one of my best friends from school and I couldn't discuss it.
Well I finally got her on the phone yesterday for the "coming out" chat. It was such a marathon conversation I even went pee while talking to her. There was no way I was hanging up.
I made her start at the very beginning. I wanted to know EVERYTHING. It's funny because I know lots of gay people in Sydney but I haven't had the deep and meaningful discussion where you find out how it all unfolded and all the details.
My friend's situation started in college with her best friend. They were living together and both dating guys and then one day it just happened. They kissed each other. No, actually my friend planted a kiss on her friend. That is so bold isn't it? Well, it worked because her friend went for it. They started seeing each other and doing stuff together for months before they actually talked about what was going on. In the end, it didn't last because they were both struggling to deal with this new path. So guys were back on the agenda.
This cycle went on for a long time where she found herself in a female relationship, got scared and dated guys again. She is now happily dating women and really comfortable with the situation but I really felt for all of her struggles. It's so hard to hear your friend tell you about years of angst and the fact that she was so uncomfortable telling anyone. Those are hard emotions to deal with on your own plus our society doesn't make it any easier.
Anyway we got to what happens when you go out to bars and are looking to pick up. My big curiosity (besides between the sheets!) was "how do you know someone is gay?" It's not like they wear a sign and plus there are a lot of attractive gay women so I thought it must be hard. Basically she has to give chicks "the eye" and see if they respond. In the same way straight girls try to work it with guys by giving them "the eye". She even said some of the gay women are worse than men by grabbing your ass like you're a piece of meat. I couldn't believe that part. I did say SOME.
I also asked her about her first sexual encounter (poor girl got drilled!) and she said, "Roxy, it involved doing everything I liked to someone else and they did the same to me." Okay then. I think that makes sense!
I did humor her by recalling a recent party I went to with friends. There was a moment where my single girlfriends and I participated in the "who is attractive in the room" game. More like who would you "do" to be blunt. I mentioned a particular guy. Then my girlfriend asked me if I would do a certain girl. I was like, "No way!", but I did say I'd do Madonna. I surprised myself ... but then again we're talking Madonna.
I was in the US visiting friends from school when two minutes before a girl's night out a good friend calls to say, "I date women!"
She wanted to drop the bomb on me and another friend before I flew back overseas. We weren't allowed to discuss this at dinner because she wasn't ready for everyone to know. Talk about a cliffhanger. This was one of my best friends from school and I couldn't discuss it.
Well I finally got her on the phone yesterday for the "coming out" chat. It was such a marathon conversation I even went pee while talking to her. There was no way I was hanging up.
I made her start at the very beginning. I wanted to know EVERYTHING. It's funny because I know lots of gay people in Sydney but I haven't had the deep and meaningful discussion where you find out how it all unfolded and all the details.
My friend's situation started in college with her best friend. They were living together and both dating guys and then one day it just happened. They kissed each other. No, actually my friend planted a kiss on her friend. That is so bold isn't it? Well, it worked because her friend went for it. They started seeing each other and doing stuff together for months before they actually talked about what was going on. In the end, it didn't last because they were both struggling to deal with this new path. So guys were back on the agenda.
This cycle went on for a long time where she found herself in a female relationship, got scared and dated guys again. She is now happily dating women and really comfortable with the situation but I really felt for all of her struggles. It's so hard to hear your friend tell you about years of angst and the fact that she was so uncomfortable telling anyone. Those are hard emotions to deal with on your own plus our society doesn't make it any easier.
Anyway we got to what happens when you go out to bars and are looking to pick up. My big curiosity (besides between the sheets!) was "how do you know someone is gay?" It's not like they wear a sign and plus there are a lot of attractive gay women so I thought it must be hard. Basically she has to give chicks "the eye" and see if they respond. In the same way straight girls try to work it with guys by giving them "the eye". She even said some of the gay women are worse than men by grabbing your ass like you're a piece of meat. I couldn't believe that part. I did say SOME.
I also asked her about her first sexual encounter (poor girl got drilled!) and she said, "Roxy, it involved doing everything I liked to someone else and they did the same to me." Okay then. I think that makes sense!
I did humor her by recalling a recent party I went to with friends. There was a moment where my single girlfriends and I participated in the "who is attractive in the room" game. More like who would you "do" to be blunt. I mentioned a particular guy. Then my girlfriend asked me if I would do a certain girl. I was like, "No way!", but I did say I'd do Madonna. I surprised myself ... but then again we're talking Madonna.
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