Same Sex Sex

I was in the US visiting friends from school when two minutes before a girl's night out a good friend calls to say, "I date women!"

She wanted to drop the bomb on me and another friend before I flew back overseas. We weren't allowed to discuss this at dinner because she wasn't ready for everyone to know. Talk about a cliffhanger. This was one of my best friends from school and I couldn't discuss it.

Well I finally got her on the phone yesterday for the "coming out" chat. It was such a marathon conversation I even went pee while talking to her. There was no way I was hanging up.

I made her start at the very beginning. I wanted to know EVERYTHING. It's funny because I know lots of gay people in Sydney but I haven't had the deep and meaningful discussion where you find out how it all unfolded and all the details.

My friend's situation started in college with her best friend. They were living together and both dating guys and then one day it just happened. They kissed each other. No, actually my friend planted a kiss on her friend. That is so bold isn't it? Well, it worked because her friend went for it. They started seeing each other and doing stuff together for months before they actually talked about what was going on. In the end, it didn't last because they were both struggling to deal with this new path. So guys were back on the agenda.

This cycle went on for a long time where she found herself in a female relationship, got scared and dated guys again. She is now happily dating women and really comfortable with the situation but I really felt for all of her struggles. It's so hard to hear your friend tell you about years of angst and the fact that she was so uncomfortable telling anyone. Those are hard emotions to deal with on your own plus our society doesn't make it any easier.

Anyway we got to what happens when you go out to bars and are looking to pick up. My big curiosity (besides between the sheets!) was "how do you know someone is gay?" It's not like they wear a sign and plus there are a lot of attractive gay women so I thought it must be hard. Basically she has to give chicks "the eye" and see if they respond. In the same way straight girls try to work it with guys by giving them "the eye". She even said some of the gay women are worse than men by grabbing your ass like you're a piece of meat. I couldn't believe that part. I did say SOME.

I also asked her about her first sexual encounter (poor girl got drilled!) and she said, "Roxy, it involved doing everything I liked to someone else and they did the same to me." Okay then. I think that makes sense!

I did humor her by recalling a recent party I went to with friends. There was a moment where my single girlfriends and I participated in the "who is attractive in the room" game. More like who would you "do" to be blunt. I mentioned a particular guy. Then my girlfriend asked me if I would do a certain girl. I was like, "No way!", but I did say I'd do Madonna. I surprised myself ... but then again we're talking Madonna.

Sex, Suits & Rock 'n' Roll

I'm watching my husband as he prepares for his upcoming gig this week. No, he's not in a major famous band - even though they'd like to think so.

But they are still hot. I mean the whole rock 'n' roll thing is so sexy, don't you think?

These boys strip off their suits and get down and dirty. Well, maybe not quite "dirty"! But it's such a relief to see these clean cut executives have some edge in their lives. Even though they pretend to rehearse every single week they only do two gigs a year. So it turns into one big rockfest with friends.

It's also been a tradition for them to hold a "mini gig" before each real gig where a handful of people attend so they can test the waters (and also so the kids of the band members can see their dad's rock out!). I will never forget the first time I saw them play - which all came back to me when I sat in the rehearsal room last weekend watching them go for it. I don't think I was ever prepared or knew what to expect from the lead singer. You know when you have a certain image of someone and then all the sudden you see them in a different light. Well, this was that situation. To give you some background, Hal, the singer, is the managing director of a company so already you may think he's a boring corporate type on some fronts but that's not it at all. He's actually very dynamic and fits the lead singer prototype perfectly.

What I didn't expect to see were his moves. Suddenly this cool man I know has a head that rocks back and forth, a sideways neck tilt and a killer leg kick with an attitude spin kind of thing. It was the leg kick that got me. It was so unexpected that I was rolling on the ground with tears dripping down. I sound so mean but I couldn't help my reaction of seeing this "suit man" bare all.

Trust me, I wish I was him with the leg kick and all. I can't think of anything better than the idea of being a rock star. How unbelievably satisfying would it be? It's creative, expressive, entertaining, worldly and comes with an amazing sense of freedom. I'm sold - it's just too bad about my voice. How bad? My voice is so bad I have to lip-sync "happy birthday" at kid's parties. I have even tried to embrace the guitar - which nearly breaks my finger tips every time I get into chord position. It's hard! So last night I had an Oprah "A-ha!" moment while my husband was out rehearsing with the boys. I decided learning to DJ was definitely it. How cool would it be to re-mix your favorite songs and chop and change music? Forget that I have no rhythm. I had the whole thing built up in my mind. I was going to be Roxy, the ultra-hip groovin and a movin DJ. I couldn't tell my husband fast enough when he walked in the door.

His reaction, "Ah Roxy, do you realize it requires rhythm... and to re-mix songs the way you want is done by people who are the best in the world."

I can dream right. That's why we all have a day job.