I Married A Chick
As I lie in bed with cramps, hot flushes and a sense that my period is coming in for a crash landing, my husband says he feels "sick and hot."
This is no coinicidence either. Every single month this happens minutes before I get my period. It's like he puts the stake in the ground and claims the land before me. As if he's going to get sympathy. There isn't a man in the world that can overrule a women's period. I can't believe my husband thinks he's got a chance. Then I realize he is more of a chick than me.
He is the one who actually has the ironing board on full daily operation while I iron four times a year. He can operate a sewing machine and sews all his own buttons. If I needed an outfit he could stitch one up. I don't even know where the "on" button is. He cooks. I use speed dial. He cleans the house and never leaves a mess. He calls my side of the bed a rats' nest. He loves the blockbuster chick flick as much as me. When sport takes a back seat he can embrace E news and Entertainment TV all the same.
Our chick highlight has to be when he bought me the box set of Sex And the City. We lived weeks of bunkering down together like two lovebirds. The pillows were properly positioned with big cosy blankets, the wine was cracked with a nightly cheers and we laid in full spoon position ready to absorb a night after night of sexiness and laughs.
But rest assured he's got the male thing going on like every other guy. He can't multitask to save his life. I know it's no surprises but I don't get this. How can someone so successful and well rounded be incapable of answering a reasonable question while cooking without getting flustered? Or drive across town and hold a steady conversion? His right hand turn is so focused it's like a golf putt for the championship title. There was one time I even put my hand "down there" to distract him... and that it did - we almost landed in a ditch. But I think the worst of the worst is when he catches up with a mutual friend for lunch and all I get are two words that sum it up, "He's great." Peyton wrote an entire blog on the subject and I stand by every word of it. And this is the man who loves chick flicks, E News and Access Hollywood. Hasn't he learned anything about the art of expansion and important details? Nope. Cause he's a man. Albeit a very gorgeous one so I'll take the good with the bad.
As I lie in bed with cramps, hot flushes and a sense that my period is coming in for a crash landing, my husband says he feels "sick and hot."
This is no coinicidence either. Every single month this happens minutes before I get my period. It's like he puts the stake in the ground and claims the land before me. As if he's going to get sympathy. There isn't a man in the world that can overrule a women's period. I can't believe my husband thinks he's got a chance. Then I realize he is more of a chick than me.
He is the one who actually has the ironing board on full daily operation while I iron four times a year. He can operate a sewing machine and sews all his own buttons. If I needed an outfit he could stitch one up. I don't even know where the "on" button is. He cooks. I use speed dial. He cleans the house and never leaves a mess. He calls my side of the bed a rats' nest. He loves the blockbuster chick flick as much as me. When sport takes a back seat he can embrace E news and Entertainment TV all the same.
Our chick highlight has to be when he bought me the box set of Sex And the City. We lived weeks of bunkering down together like two lovebirds. The pillows were properly positioned with big cosy blankets, the wine was cracked with a nightly cheers and we laid in full spoon position ready to absorb a night after night of sexiness and laughs.
But rest assured he's got the male thing going on like every other guy. He can't multitask to save his life. I know it's no surprises but I don't get this. How can someone so successful and well rounded be incapable of answering a reasonable question while cooking without getting flustered? Or drive across town and hold a steady conversion? His right hand turn is so focused it's like a golf putt for the championship title. There was one time I even put my hand "down there" to distract him... and that it did - we almost landed in a ditch. But I think the worst of the worst is when he catches up with a mutual friend for lunch and all I get are two words that sum it up, "He's great." Peyton wrote an entire blog on the subject and I stand by every word of it. And this is the man who loves chick flicks, E News and Access Hollywood. Hasn't he learned anything about the art of expansion and important details? Nope. Cause he's a man. Albeit a very gorgeous one so I'll take the good with the bad.
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