The Love Match

The first time I tried to do the love match between two friends they fell in love and moved in together. I'm about to do it again. And I can barely handle the anticipation of their first meeting.

Here's the situation. I have this Australian girlfriend who lives in LA and has been unlucky in love. She's like many 35-year-old single girls who've had a string of romances but haven't found "the one". Recently she was in Sydney so we caught up. I listened to all her men dramas over a few cocktails thinking that it should be easy in LA. She's a hot celebrity entertainment journalist. What's the problem? Mind you, every single girl I know thinks finding the man is near impossible no matter what city they live in. Okay, so it's not easy.

I used to live in LA myself so I started to think about who I knew. Maybe there was someone I could hook her up with. Then all the sudden I remembered a HOT cameraman I met at the Sundance Film Festival who was from LA. I had no idea if he had a girlfriend or what his situation was but thought I'd mention it to my friend before she headed back. Of course she was totally keen to meet him. So while she was in mid-air heading back to LA, I decided to email Mr. Cameraman to see what he thought about meeting my friend.

May I add this guy was like my hot fantasy man - someone I'd totally go for if I wasn't happily married. More like my backup man and I was turning him over just like that. I couldn't believe it.

I didn't really know the kind of guy she was attracted to but I went for it anyway - I was making my type her type. Normally my friends wouldn't go for the same types of guys that I like. So imposing my taste on her was going to be a first. My type has become so obvious over the years. Without fail, I attract and am attracted to very safe, predictable, trustworthy and wholesome men - the "marrying kind". They are rarely players or rock 'n' roll crazy. So not only is Mr Cameraman good looking he's got a lovable personality.

Anyway I send the email off mentioning my friend in a very casual way to see if he was interested in meeting her. There was no pressure on either one of them. And within like two minutes I get a response back saying, "I'd love to meet your friend... and for the record I don't have a girlfriend at the present moment..." I mean there was no delay. My friend is still flying in mid-air and he has already come back to me with a yes! He could have said, "I'll have to think about it" or "I really thought you were hot at Sundance". Nope. Straight in for my friend. So I told him to go ahead and email her since she was still flying, and that he did. I received an email from her by the next morning saying they had spoken and were going to meet up soon. I swear she must have been back in LA for like five minutes when this all happened.

I will just die if these two become an item. I could end up fantasizing about my friend's boyfriend... and that is so wrong on so many levels!

A Night Without My Wedding Ring

I hit the town on Saturday night with Gracie Spooner. And you wouldn't believe it but before we were due to go out I injured my wedding band finger. Mind you it was actually perfect.

I mean perfect in that it was a test to see if I've still got it. At 36 I wanted to know that I could still pull in the men if I desired. You know what I mean?

Gracie and I couldn't have looked better either. I happened to have my hair appointment that day so I was feeling fabulous. Plus I had on all the gear: skinny jeans with killer lace up boots and the works. Even my husband jokingly said that I looked too hot to be roaming the city.

Anyway, we kicked the night off early by hitting a cool new and happening bar. Except that when we got there it was full of hen's parties (or bachelorette parties). Yes, all girls. But we didn't really care that much as we wanted to ease into the night. So we just gossiped away and let the cocktails slip down before moving on.

Our next hot spot was pumping at first glance but then as we looked around it was just so young. Full of young girls throwing themselves at the boys. I mean, where were all the happening sophisticates that wanted to run wild? Again we went into gossip mode (and at the same time I was thinking that my husband was not going to believe I didn't even get eye contact). Actually my eyes were intently on Gracie and concentrating on her gossip but that's beside's the point.

You have to remember I had no rings on and looked hot and Spooner looked hot and was having man issues - so we weren't going down like this. So my next bright idea was to go gay for the night. And not for each other! We went to a happening gay bar, which was actually pretty trendy and cool. Mostly gay men and hetero couples though which made us wonder where the chicks were. Of course Gracie made me find out the scoop from the bartender with my American accent. But before I leaped into a spiel we decided we had to be from out of town to be asking such a lame question. We settled on New York. And I was an advertising exec while Spooner was an entertainment lawyer. Once that was sorted I asked about the best hangouts for girls on Saturdays. The girl bartender immediately said, " 'Girls' don't do Saturday nights in Sydney. They go out on Fridays." Well, okay then. What was left? We couldn't even be gay if we tried. I mean really. It was time to call it a night!

Girl on Girl

Have you ever kissed or slept with a woman? "Absolutely!" answered several girlfriends when I sent around an underground survey on the subject. I can't believe it took a survey to find this out.

Like one out of four have been with a woman at some point in their life. Isn't that a high stat amongst friends? I feel so prudish!

The questionnaire also asked the "absolutely!" girls whether they seduced the woman or were seduced. Most of them said the other woman seduced them. That actually makes sense. I mean it would take some serious balls to seduce a woman if you didn't know if she would go for it or not. Can you imagine the courage? But I guess all of these women were convinced!

Not surprising, when asked which female celebrity they would go for it was hands down Angelina Jolie. Well, she is pretty hot. Who wouldn't want an experience with her? She sort of sums up the sensual bad girl. Being with a woman in the first place sounds so forbidden and intriguing that I guess most women are drawn to someone who projects exactly that. Look, no one is going for a "good girl" if the danger and excitement of breaking personal boundaries appeals. Why else would Angelina be on every straight woman's list ... she personifies living on the edge. Women want "bad" more than men realize.

The reason why this underground survey started in the first place was because a girlfriend of mine said the whole girl on girl thing was just for a man's pleasure. And in no way for the woman. I completely disagreed so I rounded up some inner circle girlfriend facts. I understand that men enjoy watching two women together. Don't get me wrong. It's a no brainer. They like to watch and imagine themselves getting that attention and love the lusciousness of it all. But women aren't doing it for their health. Every single girlfriend who has been with a woman did it for herself and loved the experience. They said the appeal in a woman is her sensuality, soft lips, the deep connection and knowledge of "downstairs." Okay then, I think we can close off that survey!

Brazilians - "In the Land DownUnder"

Today I heard that in America the "bush" is back. Yes, I'm talking the bush between our legs. Can you even imagine? I mean once you have a Brazilian who can possibly go back.

It just doesn't happen. I don't care if Vogue, Harpers, Glamour on down the line say the "bush" is the hottest thing going. It ain't happening in this house.

I was so thrown I realised I needed some serious research. I called Jonice Padilha, one of the famous J Sisters, Brazilian beauticians to the stars in NY, to see if the rumour was true. "I don't think that's true ... if a man came up with that idea, he is messing with the wrong part of a women. Can you imagine hair with skirts and bikinis?" she said. Eeww, absolutely not. That's why I called.

I also tried to find out if there is some hot pubic hair style that I should know about. But Jonice said, "it's very individual and usually driven by the boyfriends, lovers and husbands." However she did say the triangle is very popular ... and that it's sophisticated. All I could think about is if my husband was in charge of my so called style I'd probably have a guitar down there. Can you imagine that one? With legs spread, "I'd like a guitar please." Okay, that's too much to bare.

What's interesting in Australia is the amount of women opting in for the permanent Brazilian. It has proven to be so popular that even the Cosmetic Physicians Society of Australasia is conducting a survey this month to discover the motivations of these women. If you're one of them you can participate here.

Seeing that I was recently on the wax table, I did a little digging on this idea myself. Apparently the machine they use is a step up from the Laser and is called VPL hair removal. It usually costs around $250 per treatment and you need anywhere from 6 to 10 treatments to completely kill the hair off. Ouch, that's expensive! This is for people who are serious, and seriously loaded. The first two treatments need to be three weeks apart and then around six weeks apart for subsequent treatments. It's all the rage in the land downunder, literally!

I think it sounds brilliant (if you have the cash to spend!) and you plan on leaving just a little bit of hair. Who doesn't want less maintenance? Apparently the skin becomes very smooth and you no longer have to worry about ingrown hairs, waxing or shaving. No more screaming wax sessions. Hmmm!

New Year, New Boobs

I literally flew into Arizona, got new boobs, rested for a week and then attended the action-packed Sundance Film Festival. I was in and out of surgery so quick it was like I ordered a soy latte to go.

My best friend and her crew had all been to this particular doctor post breastfeeding. And that's exactly what I was doing ... getting some substance back! There were no body image issues. In fact I could have survived life with my five-inch thick gel bra to support my size A, but the thought of being a B+/C- sounded fun. This was my moment of living dangerously.

I must say three weeks after the operation I'm really happy. They feel so real and a part of me that I can barely remember what I was before. Mind you I can clearly remember the before photos hanging up as I was being put down on the operating table and shouting out, "those photos are exactly why I'm here!"

Size was certainly the biggest factor when I told my friends I was having this done. Because I'm thin they ALL kept saying to me don't go any bigger than a B or else I was going to look like Victoria Beckham with half grapefruits mounted on her chest. That did scare me a little so I made sure even if I pushed it to a little C that they would still look natural ... well as natural as you can look with fake boobs!

I certainly don't want to make a boob job sound so easy when there are many factors to consider. That's why it's important to see a top notch doctor with amazing references you trust. And even then there are still no guarantees of everything working out. I have a few friends who have had serious problems with their implants and it hasn't been a fun road for them. It's definitely a risk ... and I took it knowingly.

I can't believe on the day I got my stitches out (which was seven days after the op) I asked the doctor if I could participate in VW's off road racing challenge at the Sundance Film Festival - a 45 minute grueling race! When he said, "No way!", it still didn't stop me from drumming up a plan to strap, tape and support my breasts in a way that would make it work. That thought lasted until I had visions of my new breasts at the bottom of VW Toureg - not to mention that I would have had no ability to steer the car with severed chest muscles! And besides my husband should see them before such a thing happened!

When I finally got home Jack's reaction was something like, "They're fantastic, they're FAAAntastic, they're FANtastic!!" Men and boobs ... little do they know we do it for ourselves!

A 2006 Wrap Up - "So Rock 'n' Roll!"

My year started sitting knee to knee with Jennifer Aniston at the Sundance Film Festival. Hanging out with her, Catherine Keener and the rest of the Friends With Money cast was the most surreal beginning to my year. Mind you running into Matt Dillon, Mark Ruffalo and Jake Gyllenhaal wasn't too bad either.

Sundance was when I rediscovered that I was actually an individual. I was without my husband and my kids, I was the woman I was years ago and I was loose. Not loose in the finding a man sense but loose in my spirit feeling completely footless and fancy free. It was so amazing to get to know myself again with a gorgeous group of girlfriends.

I connected with so many old friends but also had a year of wonderful new friendships. Friends who were so inspiring, compassionate and adorable beyond belief. There is nothing like the power of a good friendship.

One of these dear friends went to Tokyo with me to see Madonna which was unbelievably spectacular. I think the fact that we were so close to where we could almost touch Madonna's feet made it the experience of a lifetime. It was also the moment I realized I could have sex with a woman. She was that hot!

To add to my rock 'n' roll moments was when my husband was interviewed for a Rolling Stone article which for some reason sent my sex drive through the roof and still has yet to come down. He couldn't pay for those returns. Well ... you know what I mean. I also lived out my rock 'n' roll groupie fantasies when his band performed their yearly gig. Everything was just so rock 'n' roll.

In motherhood land I got a glimpse of what our kids are going to be like as teenagers when I repeatedly watched our daughter Madison with her hands on her hips say, "Whatever, Mom!" and Cody with his "Mom, you're so uncool" statements. How can a 7 year old tell me I'm uncool? Don't I define it? Moms are so underrated!

More than anything I couldn't believe how our kids became cookie cut-outs of my husband and I. They have the exact make-up of us. It scares me to death that my daughter has all of my genes and the attitude to prove it. On the opposite end of our hot headedness we are emotional wrecks. We both cry during sad movies and feel everyone else's emotion. I know I shouldn't be admitting that I'm capable of crying during a kid's movie especially when we're talking about a cartoon bear and a deer. It's so uncool. I must be a kind caring person, right!?

But the best of the best had to be my Japanese public toilet experience. I thought I was in the men's bathroom by accident but no I was in the women's toilet staring straight down a hole in the ground. It was a real hole where I was meant to squat like a Sumo. I was in heels, jeans and the works and couldn't get past how to do a proper squat and come out dry. So I kicked off my heels and hung up my jeans and undies and performed the nude wee. It was as good as my husband's first facial when the woman asked him to put a robe on and he didn't know if he should take his underwear off or leave them on for the facial. Boy that's a really tough decision considering it was about the face but Jack was so stumped he went with undies off! I think we can call it a wrap for 2006!

Enjoy your holiday and please do absolutely everything that I would do! Go crazy and we'll see you for more in 2007!

xxx

Same Sex Sex

I was in the US visiting friends from school when two minutes before a girl's night out a good friend calls to say, "I date women!"

She wanted to drop the bomb on me and another friend before I flew back overseas. We weren't allowed to discuss this at dinner because she wasn't ready for everyone to know. Talk about a cliffhanger. This was one of my best friends from school and I couldn't discuss it.

Well I finally got her on the phone yesterday for the "coming out" chat. It was such a marathon conversation I even went pee while talking to her. There was no way I was hanging up.

I made her start at the very beginning. I wanted to know EVERYTHING. It's funny because I know lots of gay people in Sydney but I haven't had the deep and meaningful discussion where you find out how it all unfolded and all the details.

My friend's situation started in college with her best friend. They were living together and both dating guys and then one day it just happened. They kissed each other. No, actually my friend planted a kiss on her friend. That is so bold isn't it? Well, it worked because her friend went for it. They started seeing each other and doing stuff together for months before they actually talked about what was going on. In the end, it didn't last because they were both struggling to deal with this new path. So guys were back on the agenda.

This cycle went on for a long time where she found herself in a female relationship, got scared and dated guys again. She is now happily dating women and really comfortable with the situation but I really felt for all of her struggles. It's so hard to hear your friend tell you about years of angst and the fact that she was so uncomfortable telling anyone. Those are hard emotions to deal with on your own plus our society doesn't make it any easier.

Anyway we got to what happens when you go out to bars and are looking to pick up. My big curiosity (besides between the sheets!) was "how do you know someone is gay?" It's not like they wear a sign and plus there are a lot of attractive gay women so I thought it must be hard. Basically she has to give chicks "the eye" and see if they respond. In the same way straight girls try to work it with guys by giving them "the eye". She even said some of the gay women are worse than men by grabbing your ass like you're a piece of meat. I couldn't believe that part. I did say SOME.

I also asked her about her first sexual encounter (poor girl got drilled!) and she said, "Roxy, it involved doing everything I liked to someone else and they did the same to me." Okay then. I think that makes sense!

I did humor her by recalling a recent party I went to with friends. There was a moment where my single girlfriends and I participated in the "who is attractive in the room" game. More like who would you "do" to be blunt. I mentioned a particular guy. Then my girlfriend asked me if I would do a certain girl. I was like, "No way!", but I did say I'd do Madonna. I surprised myself ... but then again we're talking Madonna.